


Why would you ever kiss me?

by sleepy_fl0wers



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Nanami Chiaki Lives, Post-Dangan Ronpa 3: Hope Arc, Spoilers, We be feeling emotional huh, also me: omg they fight and say i love you, and it shows, dont read this unless ur done with hope arc please, heather is a komahina song we all know it, hes an idiot, i love him but he’s dumb, i wrote this listening to heather by Conan Gray, me: I dont like cliches, most of my writing is a vent what were u expecting, rated teen and up for swear words, shes gay for the pretty princess, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25518967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepy_fl0wers/pseuds/sleepy_fl0wers
Summary: A light, soft knock at the door interrupted him from spiraling down onto the third mental breakdown this week, and he glanced up as sharp as a knife.He stood up, noting how his hands and feet felt slightly numb, and as he rubbed his eyes with his hands, taking a second to breathe, he opened the door in front of him.He was greeted by the sight of a nervous looking Nagito.He was looking at the floor, and he perked up the moment the sound of the door opening hit his ears. His eyes locked with Hajime’s, and the latter could have sworn he felt his heart stop beating for a second. No. It must have been more than that. It had to be, and if it wasn't, then that just meant seconds turned into minutes when Nagito approached him.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Nanami Chiaki/Sonia Nevermind (background)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 176





	Why would you ever kiss me?

Hajime looked up from his notebook, to find absolutely nothing but emptiness in the white room.  
Well his room. Even though it definitely didn't feel like that.

It felt more like a cheap imitation of what a room that was his own should look like.  
The walls were empty, not a single poster (or anything of any kind, as a matter of fact) decorated it. Not even shelves.)  
It was an empty white room with objects holding ghosts of what he wanted to be, but was never able to picture anywhere outside of his head.

Hajime looked down upon the small wooden table, and scowled as he reminded himself of what he was trying to do.  
He

He had been rather quiet since they arrived back to Jabberwock Island. He constantly tried to remind himself that he wasn't "him". That he wasn't the person that hurt that many people. That he wasn't that person that was (on every sense of the word) unable to feel, whether it was hope or despair. That his body was used as nothing more than a shell for a not only terrible, but exceptional human being. That he wasn't and would never be the same person as Izuru Kamukura.

Hajime involuntarily lifted his left hand to grace over his eye. It had become a nervous tic by now. Every time he found himself thinking back to all the horrible things that had happened during the tragedy, he couldn't help but be reminded that he had a permanent mark haunting him with what that monster was.

A light, soft knock at the door interrupted him from spiraling down onto the third mental breakdown this week, and he glanced up as sharp as a knife.   
He stood up, noting how his hands and feet felt slightly numb, and as he rubbed his eyes with his hands, taking a second to breathe, he opened the door in front of him.

He was greeted by the sight of a nervous looking Nagito. 

He was looking at the floor, and he perked up the moment the sound of the door opening hit his ears. His eyes locked with Hajime’s, and the latter could have sworn he felt his heart stop beating for a second. No. It must have been more than that. It had to be, and if it wasn't, then that just meant seconds turned into minutes when Nagito approached him.

“Komaeda. Please come in” he spoke up before he could make an idiot of himself.  
Hajime stepped away from the door, and realized how awfully serious Nagito looked. He had been avoiding him an awful lot lately, and he couldn’t help but feeling like it somehow was his fault, even if he didnt know what he had done. Blaming himself was far easier (and much less scary) than voicing his concerns. Who would even want to hear him instead of hearing the great Izuru Kamukura anyways?

He observed carefully how Nagito entered the cottage, and closed the door behind him quietly. Like the slightest noise would get him scolded.

Hajime felt slightly anxious, and he decided to try to break the stiff, tense air.

“Is there anything I can do to help you Komaeda?”  
The moment he nervously blurted out the words he felt like the biggest moron in the entire island. Not even Kazuichi could get up to the level he was at right now.

Nagito looked up to look at him, but there was something off with the way his eyes burned him, a look of pure annoyance, if you could even call it that. A glare felt like the most appropriate term. Nagito looked tired, as if Hajime’s words where courtesy and nothing else, and that look hurt him more than anything else could ever have. He even physically winced, and his gaze immediately fell to his shoes in shame.

He heard a loud sigh, and looked up to find Nagito’s gaze still looking at him directly.

A pinch of annoyance tinted his tone this time.

“What? Komaeda, if you have something to say to me, just say it now”

“Oh, so now I am allowed to speak Hinata-kun?”  
Nagito’s tone was now defying.

Hajime’s eyes opened wide, and he couldn't help but feel anger course through his veins.

“Don’t call me that.”

Nagito let out a dark chuckle, putting his arms around himself in his usual manner to do so. He then turned around, looking at Hajime, and forcing out a smile. Hajime would have bought it if he hadn’t seen the tears in his eyes.

“I’m sorry Hinata. I do not know what i was thinking. I am nowhere near a position to talk to you that way, and I apologize for any inconvenience I could have caused you. I will now take my leave.”

He was stopped by Hajime’s hand grasping at his arm, and was harshly gripped at the shoulders by the latter. The glassy look in his eyes showed clear shock.

“Stop saying all those things about yourself!” Hajime practically yelled. “You’re as deserving of speaking up as anyone else. You’re quite the wonderful person and I’m so fucking tired of you not noticing it!”

Nagito’s gaze went downwards towards the floor, a small frown painting his features, but Hajime wasn’t going to give up so easily.

“You are so amazingly kind, and selfless. Maybe too much” Hajime cast his gaze down for a second, only to lift them back upwards once again, making eye contact with the boy in front of him.  
“Definitely too much. You don’t deserve the way you’ve been treated, and I find it so infuriating that you think you do.”

Nagito had broken eye contact once again by now, looking anywhere but at Hajime.

“Stop it. Please.” he begged.   
Hajime had always known Nagito was insecure of himself, ever since they had been in the Neo World Program. All the horrible things he said about himself used to annoy him, he used to consider them fake words made to seek pity, but later on had understood Nagito really didn’t see himself as someone good enough to be worthy of basic respect or affection.  
He decided he would try his best to change that.

“You are the sweetest, most talented, and mesmerising person i have met” and he did mean that.

“Hinata, stop, please…”

“You are so intelligent, and giving, and i can’t believe you cannot see it yourself”

“I asked you to stop it!”

Nagito peeled Hajime’s hands off his shoulders roughly, his metallic hand making a loud sound capable of cutting through the silence coating the room.  
Hajime resisted the urge to smile, now that he had gotten him to snap, he knew he wouldn’t stop until he let go of all the things he felt he needed to keep to himself.   
He would finally know why Nagito kept ignoring him.

“I don't know why you would say all those things!” Nagito’s face became clouded with frustration, the mask of calm and hope finally slipping to reveal a handful of anxiety and nerves.

“I don't get it! I’m not worth all of this! I’m not worth your time or your energy! I’m none of this things! I’m nowhere near someone you would ever want to spend your time with!”

Hajime frowned, and crossed his arms against his chest, shaking his head.

“Why have you been so distant towards me? Why are you ignoring me? Why won't you speak to me?

“Goddammit, don't you get it? I love you! I love you and everything you are! I love you so immensely and wholeheartedly and it breaks me!”

Hajime couldn’t react for a second.  
He now found himself frozen, all of his thoughts useless and still, his brain incapable of forming a coherent response as his mouth open and closed, completely empty and speechless.

And before he could stop himself he leaned forward, his actions no longer controlled by himself, but by a hidden force he couldn’t fight or question. His stomach twisted deliriously with anticipation, butterflies flying around, as he placed his hands on Nagito’s waist, pulling him forward towards him and kissing him.

It was barely a touch of lips, and yet Hajime could not remember a time in which he had felt this good before. He didn't think there was one. He hadn’t felt this alive since the simulation had started.

He pulled away after what felt like hours, when it had barely been a couple of seconds, and the first thing he was met with was a wide eyed, teary Nagito Komaeda.

“Why would you ever kiss me?”  
Nagito’s tears started spilling, his cheeks becoming a creek of emotions.

“Because I love you too, idiot”

“No you don’t. You really don’t. You love her. You’re in love with Nanami.”

“What?”

Hajime couldn’t believe his words. Why would he ever think that? Chiaki and him were best friends, had helped her through her crush on Sonia, he had been the one to convince her to be brave enough to tell the princess what she felt.

“You didn’t need to pity me. You didn't need to expose yourself to the disgust of kissing me, you shouldn’t have to deal with me.” Nagito laughed hollowly, as if he was trying to convince himself of his own words. “You’ve always been in love with her. She’s for you, you’re for her, you could never love me. I’m nothing, I’m trash, I don’t deserve you. I wish I could.”

Hajime couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

“Nagito.” He looked at him directly in the eyes, the latter stunned to silence by the use of his first name.

“I want you to listen to me very clearly. Please.” Hajime was now inches away from him, after taking a few steps forward. He took his hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze, and flashed his best smile. “I. Love. You. I love you. You and everything about you, about who you are.” 

Nagito’s eyes looked at Hajime, his eyes filled to the brim with hope and adoration.

“But why? What is there to love about someone as insignificant and ordinary as myself?”

“You’re not ordinary.” Hajime argued. “You’re exceptional, and you have talent. A talent that is yours only, and even if you didn't, you would still be one of the most wonderful people i have met in my entire life.”

Nagito looked like he might burst any second now. He had never heard such beautiful and sweet (and most importantly, genuine) words in his life. He had never imagined there could be someone that might care for him enough, that might not be repulsed by his precedes. He didn't think it possible for someone to love him, and yet here he was.

“I wish you could look at yourself through my own eyes… how wonderful you are...” Hajime murmured lovingly, pulling Nagito into a hug.

Nagito immediately hugged back, squeezing around his neck, a quiet sob escaping his mouth.  
Hajime closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Nagito’s waist just as tightly, smiling at the warmth and comfort the embrace brought to him.

For the first time in months, he felt like more than the ghost of Izuru Kamukura. He felt like he was capable of feeling something other than numbness, something that was worth it. Someone that was especial enough to be loved. Loved in a sense of wholeness, in a way so honest and pure it felt almost unbreakable. Incorruptible. Incontrolable. Something you don't choose to do, something that creeps on onto you, until you can't remember a time in which you didn't feel it. And he felt ecstatic at realising he was capable of loving back in the same way. He felt human.

“Thank you. Thank you so much Hajime”

“Please don’t thank me. There is nothing to thank for.”

“You saved me.”

“You saved yourself Nagito. I just gave you a little push.”

Nagito pulled away for a moment, and he was met with emerald eyes staring at him with a gentleness he didn't know was possible to have when looking at him.

“It felt more like an aggressive shove.”

Laughter filled the room.


End file.
